a walk down the memory lane

BUZZ

My phone vibrates, and I unlock it..

"hey.." , the message on whatsapp said..

I typed back the customary "heyyaa.." knowing quite well what was to follow next..

And I was right.. " 'ssup? " came though..

"nothing much.. watching tv.. u say" 

"same here.. :)"

" :) "

I stare at the screen.. knowing the conversation has ended..
Still hoping something will pop up on d screen anyway..
I think of coming up with something myself..
But at the exact same moment.. the status shifts from "online" to "last seen at"
with a sigh, I put my phone away..
and am left wondering..
where did things go wrong..
when was it that everything changed..

inadvertently my mind flops over to the olden times..
when we used to spend hours texting .. talking illogical stuff over the phone..
numerous bunks from college.. hang outs and what not !!!

A quote I had read somewhere flashes across my mind..

"Day by day nothing changes.. but when you look back.. everything is different"

Things go by on their own pace..
and those momentary thoughts get washed away from my mind..

suddenly d very next day.. I'm met with a huge surprise..

The moment I enter the house.. I find one my school friends waiting to greet me..
with baffled expressions (mine) we share a quick hug..
and i stare at her with my mouth hanging open.. trying to come to terms with the surprise of finding her there..

after school ended.. everyone became busy with their own lives..
meetings became a scarce thing..
and phone calls receded to the extent of just calls on each other's b'days.. 

so to find your friend with whom you haven't talked in months.. haven't met in years suddenly present at ur home was like the biggest surprise ever !!!

As soon I got my voice back... It was 3 hours on non stop chatter..
and it was like no time has passed..
we were back to the good old days..
chattering the minutes away !!!

As I was returning from her place after dropping home.. 
I couldn't help but smile..
Time.. Distances.. Busy schedules..
All these stuff really don't matter..
coz friendship survives dem all...

things change .. people change.. priorities change..
but the space you carve in each others' hearts remains d same..

there might be moments when you are left thinking back..
wishing for the old days to come back..
but sooner or later.. the realization strikes..
everything happens for a reason..
and time once past.. cannot be reverted back !!!

And so I reach home.. Unlock my phone..
type in "heyyy.. " and hit send 
There is a smile on my face while m doing dat..
Hope is still alive.. And friendship survives.. :)
 

The other side looks green too

Having spent a lot of time thinking about the benefits of being a girl.. (and trying to prove my point to some members of the opposite sex who still remain unconvinced) I set out to do some reverse thinking..

And turns out.. The other side looks pretty green too.. :P

So here's a compilation of the list of reasons why a girl would want to be a guy !!!

* You're not subjected to a full body scan the moment you step out of the house 

* You can wear/not wear anything without having to worry about "log kya kahenge" ;)

* The world's your toilet :P

* You can make comments like "Iski maa ki" in a theatre without creating "hawwww" effect ;)

* Your punches have the strength of actually hurting other people !!! ;)

* You have relaxed and flexible curfew tymings...

* On your B'day nite.. being out till 3 isn't perceived as a big deal !!!

* You can watch sports without being asked "whose the guy who has sparked this sudden 

    interest in football/cricket.. :P

* You can afford getting drunk coz u don't have to worry about who'll drop you home..

* You have probably never heard/not care about PMS

* Boy's night out isn't centered around gossiping and bitching.. ;)

* You never have to be engaged in cat fights/ cold wars.. do gaaliya dekar you can go back to 

    being "bhai" for each other..

* Holding grudges isn't all that common.. (generally)

* You don't have to be scared of bikes.. or rather being spotted on one with a member of the 

    opposite sex.. :P

* You don't have to give second thoughts before indulging yourself in food and eat 

    without having to appraise the calories ( this one ain't applicable on me ) :P

* Your name is yours forever !!! :P

* You don't have to leave your parents behind and start anew wid a completely different set 

    of people !!! :(

* You don't have to worry about what to wear.. nor do you have frequent laments regarding 

    "I have nothing to wear" cz nobody really cares..

* Rains are a bliss for your hair.. somehow it magically transforms into better rather than 

   turning frizzy as in case of girls !!!

* You are not subjected to the pressure of learning to cook the basic food even..

*  People look into your "eyes" while talking to u  .. :P

* You dont have "oestrogen" :P :P

The greener grass of the other side

The heart yearns for the things it doesn't have..


When the era of fokatness was at its peak.. I wished for something to keep me occupied..
Now that the phase is a thing of the past.. All I can do is wish for it to return.. for however transient period that may be..


Once upon a time.. The sunday craze had subsided.. coz every day felt like a sunday..
Now sunday is craved for since the beginning of monday..


And the funniest and most frustrating thing about sundays is.. Although the entire week is spent in reverse counting for the advent of sunday.. the day in itself flies away in a manner so unprecedented that it leaves the mind with a bigg blank state of disappointment..
And then begins another 6 day waiting period..


Laments of " I need a break" have become so commonplace these days that I was actually handed a family pack of kit-kat to soothe my frazzled nerves.. ;)
(break banta hai yaar)


anyways.. enough on the laments on being too busy..
I realized its been more than a month since anything was posted in this space..
so have finally taken some time out of my "not so fokat ki busyness" :P 
n give some digital ink to my thoughts..

This one today is because of a stroke of inspiration based on some mundane observation..
It being a sunday today , my mind had a little time to do some wandering of its own n formulate some ideas (add a silly before ideas by yourself) of its own.. 

keeping with the fact of how its human tendency to find the grass on the other side greener..
here's a compilation  of the reasons of why a guy would want to be a girl..

* you can enter any mall without having your pockets being groped at.. ;) (the reason how
   this thinking process started actually)
* you're the most protected and sheltered one in the family..
* you never have to drive.. (unless you are the "I love to drive" type)
* you can wear pink without looking "sweet" :P
* you can cry at the movies and still not receive weird looks from people as its percieved as       "normal" ;)
* you get a wide variety of the type of clothes to wear.. (with guys its either shirts or                  t-shirts)
* apart from the clothes in the girls' section.. you can also impinge on the stuff from the             guy section and still end up looking cool... (as opposed to a guy wearing a girl tee :P)
* hailing a cab in the middle of the road is an easy task.. one "rickshaw" call  summons a             hundred of them to brake at your disposal... ;)
* wherever you go.. you don't have to pay.. (unless you are hanging out with your                          girlfriends)      chivalry isn't all that lost afterall... ;)
*"shopping" becomes an hobby.. not a cumbersome task... ;)
* you get the license to gossip.. ( guys love to gossip too.. they just can't come clean about it   
    in open.. and hence have to confine themselves to listening to the gossip)
* shedding a single tear from the eyes can move mighty mountains and melt hardened
   hearts...
* you can use the above mentioned paitra each tym you're on the verge of losing out on an     
    argument.. works everytym except when arguing with your mom.. (then it becomes a sign
    of weakness..  afterall.. she too has been using this one all through her life) ;)
* you never run out of topics to speak.. or people to hear you while you speak...
* having even the basicest knowledge about any of the guy stuff manages to get the 
   members of the opposite gender awestruck .. N earns you immense amount of respect :P
* you need not take offence everytym someone calls you "sweet".. its taken as a compliment
* you don't have to worry about getting enough likes/comments on facebook..                  
   n ignoring multiple friend requests becomes something you can indulge in repeatedly..
   guys don't have this sense of satisfaction..
* a single phone call accomplishes all your tasks.. you need not  step out of the house,, :P
* you look good.. no matter how you are dressed.. ;)
* you are loved by all.. what more do you want ??? :P

Being a girl is seriously one happy joy ride... ;)

P.S. - I know I have outdone myself this time.. In terms of fokat k thoughts... ;)
           But as mentioned earlier.. who cares... ;)
           It had been a long tym since my mind did this kind of futile wandering of its own..
P.P.S -  It has been a long tym since I posted anything too.. 
              But unlike some people.. I haven't shown my (over)smartness by using bogus 
              comments to make this blog look larger... :P
              N yeah.. "nothing you" wont suffice this time for the amount of pains I had to endure
              to manage tym out of my busy schedule n post here.. :P

The Birthday Chronicles

Surprises !!!
The Best thing about Birthdays...


God only knows why I spent so many of them devising ways to unveil the surprises... Stupid is all I can think of when I look back to my behavior back then...


Having seen live examples of people having spoilt their b'day surprises from the starting of this year...and regretting that later... I had already reached the conclusion that I didnn't want to repeat the same history !!!


So purposefully switched off my infamous "detective dimag" this year..
Did no snooping around..
Didn't even try eavesdropping..
Turned a blind eye and deaf ear to all that was happening around... 


And all that surely paid off !!!


The best thing I heard that day was... " I'm proud of the way u behaved".. :)
It surely made my day !!!


"PERFECT"
Thats the word I'd use if I was asked to describe that day !!!


After the customary late nite jaagran.. I had decided to go to college.. (a huge feat considering the fact that the surviving on the brink of sleep deprivation already)


But then.. didn't want to miss out on an opportunity to get the scores of b'day wishes in person... and Birthdays are Birthdays unless ur friends aren't a part of it...
so dragged myself out of the bed and over to the college...
everybody coming over to wish me kind of made up for it later.. (crazy i know!!)


Initially I had presumed that the whole "hum toh posting attend karenge" charade was just to make sure that I don't raise any suspicions and don't get my hopes high up..
But when I discovered that posting is being attended.. N worse.. I'm being made to attend that too.. I was left bewildered...


The first bout of surprises started as soon as we got a break ...
surprise visit in college.. even more surprising cake.. and a not so surprising cake facial...
(although according to the reviews i got later.. it did wonders to my skin.. it was "glowing" :P
and hence I am recommending it to everyone from now on)


just when I'm convinced thats all surprise in store for me for the day.. my sister decides to take me on a shopping spree .. In the middle of her board exams !!!


normally my sensors would have detected fishy activity.. but owing to the fact that I had turned my brain off.. I didnt even raise suspicions when it was proposed that we take a foodie detour...


N then surprise surprise... after years of wishing for one !!! And once even going to the extent of planning one for myself.. I finally get one !!!
A SURPRISE PARTY... :)
which was full of loads of fun, masti, another cake and needless to say... surprises... ;) :D


All in all .. everything was perfect... And was amazed to have been made re-realize how much people care about me... :)
"blessed" thats what I am.. 

A well known saying goes.. "at the end of your life if you can count 10 people on the tips of your fingers who truly care for you.. you are truly blessed.."
I surely count myself in that category !!! :)

just wanted to thank everyone for making my day super special... can't express how lucky I am to have people like u in my lyf... 

the lengths you people went to .. just make my day special.. It was unimaginable...

P.S. - I know this post is exremely delayed in coming... But believe me... the kind of b'day 

          euphoria I had.. Is still far from over... still having hangover symptoms... some credit of 

         that also goes to the back to back sleepovers that followed...

P.P.S - this calls for a round of acknowledgments..

             thanks Shibz fr being the mastermind n executing all of this behind my back so 

             ingeniously k I didn't even get a whiff for whats happening..

            Sonam fr being the accomplice.. N not letting out any hints.. :P

            Sama fr just being there for me.. I knw hw busy you are.. N it ws ur big day too bt 

             still you wer there.. :) sry fr spoiling the early morning surprise.. 

             It was totally unintentional .. 

            Gaurav fr already making me an author..  N for the song I don't remember.. :)

             The amount of thought you put in.. "kya bolu mai" :P

             Mansi fr being d accomplice in the novel n fr my night tym buddy... ;)

             Mayur.. fr just being there and adding to the humour...

             N last but not the least... niya !!!

             none of this would have been possible without u !!!

             you seriously are the best sister in the world !!!

             who else would spare so much tym 2 days before the maths board paper !!!

             Don't have words to express !!! :)

              

              

Being Single

"you're single !!! Ho hi nahi sakta !!!"


This was facebook.. and I was chatting with a friend/acquaintance of mine..
The college hadn't restarted yet and hence it was an era of  fokatgiri at its extreme...
Insomnia at its peak.. hours of nothingness.. and a blissfully empty mind usually gave way to such futile conversations...


This comment however had my attention..
and I was like.. "kyun ???"


"Ab tujhe apni taarif sunani hai ??? :P", came the reply..


"nahi.. I'm genuinely curious..", I typed back... 


And I was.. It was not just the sentence that had my curiosity aroused... It was the finality with which it was delivered that made me wonder.. "ho kyu nahi sakta"..


The reply that I got was as follows..
" you're smart.. intelligent n 'quiet' beautiful.." (I never figured out whether it was meant that I come across as quiet.. or that I was 'quite' beautiful) ;)


"so.. mai single nhi ho sakti ??" I retorted back..


"yeah.. unless u're mad.." came the ambiguous and baleful reply.. 


The above mentioned conversation no doubt gave me a boost.. but it also sent me thinking...
Can anyone not be single in this era ???
And why has being committed become such a taboo...???


guys and girls claim to be "in love" at an age that they don't even know what it means to be in love... Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is the trend of the day..
Let me clarify.. Its not like I'm an anti cupid sadist.. (In fact I happen to know people who have a special setting with the little toddler) ;)
I've got nothing against love... its truly a beautiful feeling... :)
I just don't believe its something to be flaunted !!!
It happens when its meant to happen.. And to get into a relationship just because everyone else is.. Is plain stupid !!!
It requires profound level of maturity to handle it.. 

Being in love also doesn't mean you fade off from the adjoining world into one composed entirely of two people...
I have seen people change once the cupid strikes..
Their entire world revolves around each other...
Their level of engrossment makes me wonder... Don't they need a buffer ??? What if after the initial period of infatuation, it wears off ??? What if you don't find each other as interesting as you used to ?? What if boredom seeps in ??? What then ???
And even if you manage to not run out of talks.. what happens if god forbid things don't work out in d manner you had envisioned they would... how do you cope ???


Then its "exit" love.. and "enter" variety of pages on facebook like.. "you'll never know how much you hurt me" "I will always love you" and what not...
love is supposed to be the most amazing feeling..
so why rush into it ???




Earlier people used to take time to fall in love.. In our generation it happened in late teenage and early 20's..
5 years isn't a long time.. but it has surely resulted in something of a generation gap.. ( I can't even imagine what the situation will be 15-20 yrs..)
now love happens at the age of 14-15... call it the side effect of rapid mordernization...
A part fault lies with the elders too..
as soon as the kid starts with preschool.. elders tease the kid about the "girl" friend in the class... tv shows, movies, internet, news don't help the cause either.. so bada hote hote ye toh hona hi hai...


I've digressed... started with something and ended up blabbering about something else entirely... ;)
Getting back to the point...
Its great if you find that designated special someone.. 
But there is nothing wrong with being single in the meanwhile...
Just because you are smart, intelligent and beautiful doesn't imply that there "needs" to be someone..
Love isn't about showing off.. It isn't about clinging to each other 24 x 7 ( I don't mean this literally) ..
Its the knowledge that there is someone out there.. who's always gonna be there for you...
who likes you for who you are.. as you are..
Its about understanding and maturity to give each other the required space while being there always..
It makes you want to be a better person than you are.. motivates you to makes things better.. changes your perception of things.. and manages to put a silly smile on your face everytime...

Thats what I believe it to be.... ( yet to discover how true that is)
In the meanwhile.. I'm happy observing things from a distance..
Do give it a try if you happen to be an occasional fokat person like me...
It gives you interesting insights into human psyche..
its said smart people learn from their mistakes.. but intelligent ones learn from others experiences...
On that intelligent note.. its me signing off..
for those in love.. keep loving... for others.. keep looking... ;)
Viva la vida.. :)

The B-Day butterflies

March..!!!
One of my favorite months in the year..
For obvious reasons.. ;)


spring is in..
Winters have ended and summers haven't reached its peak yet...


The month of colors... :)

But the best thing about it remains the fact that my birthday happens to fall within this month... ;)


I've always been a b'day fanatic for as long as I can remember... 
Even when during school days when my b'day invariably fell during either the exams or the vacations.. ;)
I start my reverse countdown as soon as the new year starts.. (i know its a little extreme)
and by the time march arrives... the thoughts of my b'day predominate over all others...


Afterall its the one day in the entire year that you get the celebrity treatment... ;)
people que up for the chance to talk to you..
and you feel like a star... :)

Of course I'm aware of the fact that "its one year from the life gone"  and all of the so called "facts"
but all that stuff just isn't meant for my lively self...
I don't claim to b an optimist.. but I'm no pessimist either..
Its all about the glass half full for me.. ;)


I always end up doing some or the bizarre stuff in the meanwhile..
I've gone to the limit of planning my own surprise b'day party for myself in which my friends would be invited and I would get a chance to act surprised.. shocked even.. ( a brilliant idea on which my sister unfortunately put her foot down on.. such a waste ) :(


The sad thing about being a b'day fanatic is.. it can sometimes make life difficult for the near n dear ones...
The detective in me which usually lies in dormant state is constantly on high alert !!!
every action.. word and conversation is closely monitored just to catch a whiff of activity regarding my big day.. ;)
something I usually excel at.. much to my friends' irritation...
"surprise" kya hai "guess" karna becomes my favorite hobby... ;)
They sadly attribute it to the fact that I am suffering from overdose of "castle" "bones" and "lie to me"


The fact remains that my curiosity gets better of me.. and end up being a pain.. ;)


so this time i have vowed to do something different..
no more acting like a detective..
no more snooping around for clues..
no more eavesdropping to catch snatches of conversations..


Afterall.. its high time I start acting "mature".. ;)
(a feat i don't consider possible) :D


Instead.. I have decided to cook up my own versions of whats possible... ;)


*spoiler alert*


do not read any further if u happen to be my close friends and you don't want me to spill any beans....




although.. If u're running short of ideas regarding what to do for me.. you can definitely continue..
moreover.. if this doesn't suffice your requisites.. feel free to personally contact me anytime..
I'll be more than happy to help you out of my dilemma..




*disclaimer*
I do not assure this post is designated to be helpful or beneficial at all... Please do not blame me if you end up more confused than what you were before reading this... :P


 so here's a compilation of all the things i envision/imagine myself getting this year...

•  A bouquet on my doorstep at 12 in the night... ;)
•  A surprise home visit early in the morning by all my friends.. ( a really tough task considering we have to be in college at 8.. I totally understand guys.. still can't help fantasizing) :D 
• handmade card !!! (should be HUGE ) ;)
• A long long letter... :))
• new spectacles.. (seeing how my old pair was brutally chewed off by angel and i haven't bothered to get a new one yet)
• headphones for my sony erricson.. (same sad story.. chewed off by angel again)
• yearly subscription of reader's digest.. ( I know I can always go to yc n read it.. but I'm too lazy.. on top of it.. my b'day gift continues to get delivered to me every month of the year.. what more can I possibly ask for !!! ;) )
• a cool handbag.. (I'll choose it myself if you want) ;)
• shopping spree.. (If we have enough strength left after college.. promise not to splurge too much on anything ) ;)
• food processor and a proper set of knives.. (this one's a mom special.. I refuse to partake in learning to cook till my demands are met !!! :P)
• A dhawa at my place d nyt b4 and nite stay... (no horror movies ;) ) too much wishful thinking.. i know.. ;)
• any of the final year textbooks... (this is the most mature wish so far) ;)
• a smart clutch.. 
• college bag.. (not harrison's.. although if you come to think of it.. will be barely using it for a year)
• A scrapbook.. (have mentioned it quite late but this one tops the list.. although I know there isn't much tym !!! )
• watch !!! (you cannot have enough of them !!!) ;)
• a chanel perfume.. (extravagant I know.. but sochne me kya ja raha hai) ;) 
• INC.in or catwalk footwear.. (will ensure it is kept far away from angel's reach) ;)
• A pandora's box kind of thing.. full of accessories... ;)
• A laptop... (this one is a dad special.. I know I don't have any use and am possibly the most untechnosavvy person on this earth.. but I want one of my own.. even a tab would work fine) ;)
• A surprise b'day party !!! :D

I don't want the list exceed my age.. so will put a stop here... ;)


p.s. - the above list may sound materialistic.. but I'm actually not !!!
          I firmly believe its not the gifts but the feelings that matter...
          Its not the place but the people who matter.. :D


p.p.s - having said the above sentence.. 
            all my frnds..  plz keep in mind that I "am" expecting "something" :P
            so better gear up... ;)
            

Insomnia

Medically its described as a chronic condition characterized by difficulty in falling or staying asleep and a constant recurring episodes or sleeplessness...

Me ?? 

I describe it as a real pain...

I really don't know what Mr. Van Gogh was thinking when he said "I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day"

Staying up night after night, knowing the entire world is sleeping and you can't do the same isn't a pleasant thought at all !!!

Also whoever said "I love the night because of the stillness it brings with it" sure didn't have street dogs howling or cicada's humming during the night hours anywhere near his home  !!!

I've always been a nocturnal person.. To be truthful.. 
It really does come handy sometimes...

If u haven't managed to complete ur assignments during the day or during exam tyms for example.. 
This habit comes as a boon when every minute startes mattering ... ;)


But the rest of the time.. its just damn irritating !!!!

staring at the ceiling while everyone else is asleep yields no satisfaction... it is only infuriating... 


sometimes i feel like getting up in the night and reverse my sleep cycle itself..
It would at least save me the frustration.. ;)


All the different "nuskhas" people tell k aisa karne par neend aa jati hai.. ??


they really don't work... ;)




this is how a regular night goes for me... (when I have nothing to do)


11:30 pm - think of sleeping


12:00 am - lights out


thinking ..


thinking ..


1:00 am - look at the time in cell n realize that you have wasted one full hour !!!


*toss*


1:15 am - decide to stop thinking watever nonsense you're thinking n sleep !!!


*toss*


1:30 am - look at the time again


sigh!


concentrate on the color black and empty the mind..


2:00 am - realize that you've started thinking something again


2:10 am - stare at the lightly glowing stars on the ceiling


*toss*


2:20 am - decide.. "ab toh sona hi hai"


trying to sleep..


trying to sleep


check the time in phone..


"3 o clock"


frustration returns..


put status on fb "insomnia.. :(" [which is to be deleted the next morning seeing nobody liked or commented on it ;)]


3:05 am - try to cook up some boring dreams.. ho sakta hai neend aa jaye... ;)


3:30 am - think of angel.. 
                   wish of swapping lives with her.. 
                    considering she can fall asleep whenever she wants to...
*toss*


try to clear your mind of such mundane thoughts on concentrate on sleeping !!!


how I finally fall asleep is a mystery to me still.. but the entire process invariably takes hours.. ;)


Needless to say .. this process makes getting up early in d morning really difficult..
you acquire the tag of being "lazy"
your habit of sleeping up till late causes people to say "kitna soti hai"
In fact my parents consider me a clinomaniac.. 
kaun btaye that its the opposite that's true... ;)


what would I not give to just lie on the bed and drift straight off to sleep.. the way it used to be in childhood !!!

 Its not like that "never" happens.. 
But I usually have to be utterly exhausted and tiered for that wish to come true..
and most often that not.. it isn't the case regularly..


In the meanwhile.. I can sure continue with my wishful thinking... ;)






p.s. - as is obvious .. this post is a result of many sleepless nights and resulting dark circles.
          the only ray of hope I can see is my college reopening.. n life getting back in routine..
          I'm sure m gonna regret saying this.. but please.. college shuru kar do..
          I'm in need of a break from a break !!! ;)


p.p.s - a big thanks to all my nocturnal friends.. 
            you make my insomnia withstand-able.. ;)
            from playing rapid fire till 2 in the morning in chat.. to talking about senseless stuff..
            till I actually fall asleep.. I really dont know what I would do without you..
            Its cz of u that I don't need a psychiatrist aaj.. ;)