Insomnia

Medically its described as a chronic condition characterized by difficulty in falling or staying asleep and a constant recurring episodes or sleeplessness...

Me ?? 

I describe it as a real pain...

I really don't know what Mr. Van Gogh was thinking when he said "I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day"

Staying up night after night, knowing the entire world is sleeping and you can't do the same isn't a pleasant thought at all !!!

Also whoever said "I love the night because of the stillness it brings with it" sure didn't have street dogs howling or cicada's humming during the night hours anywhere near his home  !!!

I've always been a nocturnal person.. To be truthful.. 
It really does come handy sometimes...

If u haven't managed to complete ur assignments during the day or during exam tyms for example.. 
This habit comes as a boon when every minute startes mattering ... ;)


But the rest of the time.. its just damn irritating !!!!

staring at the ceiling while everyone else is asleep yields no satisfaction... it is only infuriating... 


sometimes i feel like getting up in the night and reverse my sleep cycle itself..
It would at least save me the frustration.. ;)


All the different "nuskhas" people tell k aisa karne par neend aa jati hai.. ??


they really don't work... ;)




this is how a regular night goes for me... (when I have nothing to do)


11:30 pm - think of sleeping


12:00 am - lights out


thinking ..


thinking ..


1:00 am - look at the time in cell n realize that you have wasted one full hour !!!


*toss*


1:15 am - decide to stop thinking watever nonsense you're thinking n sleep !!!


*toss*


1:30 am - look at the time again


sigh!


concentrate on the color black and empty the mind..


2:00 am - realize that you've started thinking something again


2:10 am - stare at the lightly glowing stars on the ceiling


*toss*


2:20 am - decide.. "ab toh sona hi hai"


trying to sleep..


trying to sleep


check the time in phone..


"3 o clock"


frustration returns..


put status on fb "insomnia.. :(" [which is to be deleted the next morning seeing nobody liked or commented on it ;)]


3:05 am - try to cook up some boring dreams.. ho sakta hai neend aa jaye... ;)


3:30 am - think of angel.. 
                   wish of swapping lives with her.. 
                    considering she can fall asleep whenever she wants to...
*toss*


try to clear your mind of such mundane thoughts on concentrate on sleeping !!!


how I finally fall asleep is a mystery to me still.. but the entire process invariably takes hours.. ;)


Needless to say .. this process makes getting up early in d morning really difficult..
you acquire the tag of being "lazy"
your habit of sleeping up till late causes people to say "kitna soti hai"
In fact my parents consider me a clinomaniac.. 
kaun btaye that its the opposite that's true... ;)


what would I not give to just lie on the bed and drift straight off to sleep.. the way it used to be in childhood !!!

 Its not like that "never" happens.. 
But I usually have to be utterly exhausted and tiered for that wish to come true..
and most often that not.. it isn't the case regularly..


In the meanwhile.. I can sure continue with my wishful thinking... ;)






p.s. - as is obvious .. this post is a result of many sleepless nights and resulting dark circles.
          the only ray of hope I can see is my college reopening.. n life getting back in routine..
          I'm sure m gonna regret saying this.. but please.. college shuru kar do..
          I'm in need of a break from a break !!! ;)


p.p.s - a big thanks to all my nocturnal friends.. 
            you make my insomnia withstand-able.. ;)
            from playing rapid fire till 2 in the morning in chat.. to talking about senseless stuff..
            till I actually fall asleep.. I really dont know what I would do without you..
            Its cz of u that I don't need a psychiatrist aaj.. ;)